Existence

LIFE . PAPER BAGS . LULLABIES . FOOD

Category: Poems

You Let Him

He looked into your eyes, and you let him – you let him suck in every breath you took since you were brought to life. A life that for so long, rendered you a still born. Dead. Still. Mute. But you let him, you gave him access to that muscle that relentlessly beats – day in and day out – to have you so willingly have him crush it. But your heart is no match for his ice cold soul, that ever so cunningly seeps and infects your every breath. The very same ones you have him breathe. Because you see, you let him. You had his delicate fingers wrap around your neck, and ever so patiently let him strangle you. You gasped, he smiled, you begged, he laughed. But you let him. You let him crush your limbs and drag you down six feet under into pitch black darkness. You saw nothing but his shadows, heard only his faintest laughs, and when the moons aligned, tasted his bitter tears. You let him. You let him crush your lungs and drown you in the saltiest of waters, and when you begged and begged for him to set you free, you were caressed in his smiles. Pearly whites that gave you the air you so longingly pleaded for. Breathe.

But you see, it was the light that guided you; his and only his, ever so brightly it guided you to the waters where he waited every night. Every night he yearned for nothing else but to see your smiles. And you let him. You charged his protons and had him traverse the galaxies; touch naked skin; discover untouched land. You had him freezing cold keys seek refuge in every house that populated your soul. Door after door, broken down. House after house, vandalised – until you lay naked, vulnerable against everything that once brought you to life. You gave him the ropes that cast you into the seven seas just to see his light. Just to see those smiles, to hear his laugh, to make him happy. But he yearned for nothing else but to darken your glow. You lay motionless in the waters every night awaiting hir unblemished glances. But you were only welcomed with darkness. Every night you waited.

And now, six feet under, you wait for the rest of your life for the very same soul to anchor you back to the light. But there’s no anchor in sight, only darkness. You shouldn’t have let him.

But you did.

You – The Exalted

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As I place my head on the floor, I pray only for You.
I think only about You.
I dream only about You.
My heart is only You.

You have awakened me from this temporary world,
and empowered my heart with Your Light.
Your Love has opened my eyes and I am not blinded anymore.
My heart burns for You and our Beloved that I wish to see Your Eternal Beauty.

I have tasted Your Love, and I have become insane to please only You.
I whirl in Ecstasy and wish to drink from Your holy cup of wine.
As I try to explain Your Love, I fall speechless for there are no words to describe the beauty of the Exalted.

I spread out my hands and pray.
With hot tears streaming down my cheeks, I ask to forgive every sin that I have committed and every error that I have erred. You show me the true meaning of life and I am bewildered.
I was once blind but now I can see, truly this great beauty living…

inside of me.